7 December 2009
Saying I'm sad doesn't begin to describe it
My Beautiful Mum passed away on a sunny Sunday 29th November, 2009.........
It's all so unbelievable, things happened so fast! So much happened in a short few weeks.
I can't imagine my life without my Mum but know I have to keep going and I hold onto all the memories we made together.
It hurts so much, I feel really numb and unmotivated. I know my Mum would not want me to feel this way - but how can I not, when she was such a big part of my whole life??
I hold onto the cherished memories, especially the last few weeks we shared together. I was by her side, with Craig, Bec & Amy - just the 4 of us while she passed away. We were all holding her hands, telling her how much we loved her and will miss her. We told her she was beautiful and I stroked her face and placed my other hand over her heart......
The peace I saw & felt within her as she lay so very still afterwards, was a relief - as I finally knew she was not suffering at all anymore.
Tears constantly spill from my eyes and my life will never be the same. It's all the million little things that hurt so much. Like the times I would come home from my shop to find a batch of freshly baked scones sitting on my table - and a bowl of fresh cream in my fridge, or cupcakes.
Mum always put everyone else BEFORE herself - she was such a giving loving soul.
Today we celebrated her life - It was another beautiful sunny Sunday - We lit candles, and sent off balloons. We played Mum's favourite music. Heartfelt words were spoken. Tears flowed. We smiled as we recalled special memories and fun times.
The support & love we have received during this sad time is incredible, and for that, we are so very grateful.
My numbness remains - I will be taking one day at a time, moment by moment.