7 December 2009

Saying I'm sad doesn't begin to describe it




My Beautiful Mum passed away on a sunny Sunday 29th November, 2009.........

It's all so unbelievable, things happened so fast! So much happened in a short few weeks.

I can't imagine my life without my Mum but know I have to keep going and I hold onto all the memories we made together.

It hurts so much, I feel really numb and unmotivated. I know my Mum would not want me to feel this way - but how can I not, when she was such a big part of my whole life??

I hold onto the cherished memories, especially the last few weeks we shared together. I was by her side, with Craig, Bec & Amy - just the 4 of us while she passed away. We were all holding her hands, telling her how much we loved her and will miss her. We told her she was beautiful and I stroked her face and placed my other hand over her heart......
The peace I saw & felt within her as she lay so very still afterwards, was a relief - as I finally knew she was not suffering at all anymore.

Tears constantly spill from my eyes and my life will never be the same. It's all the million little things that hurt so much. Like the times I would come home from my shop to find a batch of freshly baked scones sitting on my table - and a bowl of fresh cream in my fridge, or cupcakes.

Mum always put everyone else BEFORE herself - she was such a giving loving soul.

Today we celebrated her life - It was another beautiful sunny Sunday - We lit candles, and sent off balloons. We played Mum's favourite music. Heartfelt words were spoken. Tears flowed. We smiled as we recalled special memories and fun times.

The support & love we have received during this sad time is incredible, and for that, we are so very grateful.

My numbness remains - I will be taking one day at a time, moment by moment.

16 comments:

  1. Oh Lorri. I am so very sorry for your loss. Please know my thoughts and support are here for you. Your celebration for her sounds so lovely. Be gentle with yourself. Love, Jamie

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  2. OH NO! I'm so incredibly sorry. :-(

    (((( Lorri and her family )))

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  3. I know we don't know each other "personally", but I'm sitting here at the computer with tears in my eyes at reading about the loss of your mother. I never really knew my mother (she passed before I was a year old), however, I knew my dad and he died when I was just short of turning 21. That was in 1974 and I STILL get teary-eyed at Easter time.

    My heart goes out to you sweet lady. And if I was closer I would give you a big o'hug.

    XOXO from across the miles

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  4. Lorri, I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I can't believe how fast all of this happened and my heart goes out to you and your family! Please find peace in knowing your mother is no longer in pain and is in better hands.

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  5. Lorri and family, Please accept my heartfelt sympathy at the passing of your mum. What lovely memories you have to help you through this time of grief. Blessings to you. May you know the peace and strength that comes from God - He will see you through the rough patches.

    XOXO
    Eileen

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  6. Lorri, I was so happy yesterday to be able to share in the Celebration of your Mums life with you and your family....
    It was truly beautiful to see the love you all shared with your Mum ....
    I feel your Mum lives on in you and Bec as you both share her kind, generous and giving soul....
    I am blessed to have crossed paths with you and to be able to call you a friend and awesome teacher....
    Take time to reflect,your Mum will always watch over you Lorri, she is now your angel !..

    Dee
    x

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  7. Thoughts and prayers for you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss.

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  8. My deepest sympathies to you, Bec and the rest of your family. Continue to be strong as you have always been and to live out your mother's wonderful legacy. Prayer and thoughts are with all of you. Take care.

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  9. Sincere sympathy on the loss of your wonderful mother Lorri...I too was brought to tears reading about the love you all shared. With time, the wonderful memories you all have of your dear mum will help you get thru' this sad time.

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  10. I am heart broken reading this, my deepest sympathies. I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through, but let yourself feel the grief process. There is no shortcut unfortunately, but it was a gift that you could all spend so much time together at the end, and that you were with her when she passed. Your mother will always live on in your heart, and your memories, and with time, it won't hurt so much.
    Blessings and hugs
    betty

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  11. I've been where you are now. It is hard, and it doesn't get much better, but just remember that your mother at one point in her life also lost her Mother. You know our parents were so much better at being "adults" than our generation. Maybe because they grew up much faster than we did. Maybe because they showed us so much love throughout our lives that it's hard to really grow up, we want to keep that comforting feeling for ourselves. We need to honor their memory and strive to be as adult as they were, and pass on the love to our children and Grand Children. At least that is what I am trying to do, and when I tear up, I remember how strong she was. My Mother lost two parents and a child in the span of five years. Hang on tight to your siblings. That does really help.

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  12. My deepest condolences to you and your family at this difficult time in your lives. Although I'm not a close personal friend, you are in my thoughts and prayers right now. All the best.
    Jacquie

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  13. Lorri, so sorry to hear about your mum.
    My condolences to you and your family.

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  14. Lorri, I am so sorry to hear about your mother. My heart goes out to you and your family. The photos and stories you've posted about her are poignant.

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  15. Thats true to not describe it and you must have to pass through the time and have to prove we are able to do that task as. Thanks for the understanding post here.

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  16. Oh, such a lovely pic of your mum!! Loved reading your tender words and memories.. so beautifully expressed, my sweet friend. Wish I lived closer, I'd give you all a good, tight SQUEEZE!

    Lovely comments here as well.

    Hope you are having a good day today. Glad I popped in cause I do love reading your heartfelt words, pics and seeing all of your touchingly beautiful art!

    - XO

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