RAK Request

Tonight I had a thought....

I know you are all such caring and generous souls, and I was wondering if you could please help me - by sending a little love my Mum's way.

As you probably already know, my Mum is not well. Today the family took her into hospital to see if we can get her pain under control. We are hoping she will come home tomorrow after they perform a biopsy to see where her main cancer is that has caused the bone cancer.

I receive gorgeous cards & atc's in the mail from my private swaps and group swaps, so I thought it would be really nice if my Mum was to receive some nice mail too. Mum lives in a granny flat at the back of our house.

It would be really wonderful if anyone could send a little card or something, with 'sending you a hug' or something sweet & simple - Please don't say 'get well soon'

You can send any mail to -

Marjorie Winn
13 Ivanhoe Place
GOSNELLS WA 6110

Guest ATC Designer - November

The wonderful Chriss Rollins who is also a part of The Paper Girls has invited me to be their guest ATC designer for the month of November.

I'm thrilled to have been asked, Chriss has been wonderfully supportive as she knows my time is pre-occupied with my Mum's health care at the moment. So I gave Chriss permission to grab any of my images she liked to include on the relevant blogs. These can now be seen live on her blog. I always find it interesting to see which cards appeal to different people. Chriss chose my " Shift Lock" Card above, as the Monthly Trade image - a personal favourite of mine.

Chriss has been so friendly and helplful in sorting out the images, my bio etc and I'm delighted to be involved with these amazing ladies!

My ATC's are yet to be made, and hopefully I am going to get to them this week. The theme is "Keys" - and I love keys!!

Pop by Chriss's blog and say hello (wow so many s's's I'm glad I don't lisp!!) xo

Feeling helpless, but blessed.

I want to thank everyone for their kind comments, support and prayers that have been sent my families way. The little messages on Facebook, here on my blog and via email mean so much to me. Thank you everyone for your love & support. I feel blessed to know you all. Please keep sending those prayers. xo

My Mum back in 50's - My absolute favourite photo :)

Update on Mum:

It's been 11 days since my last post.
My Mum isn't doing too well :(
We went to see the Oncologist at Royal Perth Hospital on Thursday. We didn't get much information - except to confirm the worst. The Dr was rather serious, but seems very thorough. He has organised for a CT Scan from my Mum's waist up - to check her lungs (He did indicate that's where he thinks her Main cancer is) but he also want's to check her Brain because of the headaches and nausea she has been having. He organised for a blood test, which she had on Thursday.
A lung function test has also been ordered - which Mum has had several times before due to her already failing lungs. Two years ago Mum was diagnosed with Interstitial Pneumonia, Pulmonary Fibrosis (Honeycomb Lung) and Emphysema!
Once the results are back from the CT scans, the Dr is then going to determine if he can do a biopsy into an area with cancer to find out more information. He didn't want to insert a needle into her rib - the rib with the large bone cancer/deformity - as there would be a chance of it breaking or crumbling.
The bone cancer is in both her ribs, the top part of the spine (which the Dr said has caused two vertebrates to compress and cause nerve pain) It's also in part of her pelvis and her femur.
He thinks the nerve pain in the back is the main pain that Mum is been feeling.

He more or less asked us to watch her for signs of organ failure...... that scared the crap out of me!! The warning was.... if she feels numbness, tingling in her arms or legs, keeps vomiting, doesn't do poo-poop after a couple of days on laxatives, if she feels dazed or confused and if she doesn't wee-wee - and also said if she can't stand on her tip toes, then take her to the ER.

The Dr prescribed more pain medication - which doesn't really seem to be helping a great deal!!
Now she has a concoction of things to remember, and we are all helping her with this.
I have written in black texta which is for which and when she should be taking them. Most of the time someone is with her, which is good.

The poop-poop hasn't really happened properly for 9 days.
Mum has only eaten one proper meal in about 5 days, she is unable to keep food down.
Today she ate 3 icecream wafers and at 10pm I managed to get her to eat a bit of a banana.
I'm worrying :(
She doesn't want to go to the hospital, because she knows she wouldn't be comfortable as she isn't sleeping well at all - mostly an hour at a time, two to three tops! I also think she is scared that she might not come out of the hospital, and she doesn't want to die there!
Amy and I have been trying to get her to eat something, so at least if she is sick she will have something inside to come out.
If the nausea hasn't settled tomorrow and the laxatives (& enema!!) haven't worked, I think it will be necessary that we take her to the hospital.

I wanted to share some pictures -

This is my favourite picture of me with my parents as a child

Here's us girls - a pic from a few years back.

left to right: Amy, Me, Mum & Bec

This photo below, is from about a year ago. I was trying out my 'macro' on my camera, and this is my Mum's finger modelling her beautiful ring - On Wednesday my Mum gifted me a beautiful owl ornament (you know I love owls right?) and it opens up and inside was this ring :)
All sparkly and as beautiful as her.

WTF Next?

If you have tears, prepare to shed them now.
This is one of my art cards that I 'connect' with this post.

I don't know where to start on this post...... so I will just say it simply.

My Mum is not well.
If there's one thing we can't do without it's our Mums!!

I'm hurting, I feel terrible, I feel numb, I feel exhausted......... and I'm worried about everyone's well being (My own included)

I'm trying SO hard to be postive, to stay in the moment and not let my thoughts wander too far into the land of 'what if's & whens'

I'm trying hard to be strong - for my Mum, for my beautiful daughters, for my H - because he has wanted me to be happy and not to hurt (physically & emotionally) so badly for a long time now......... and now this!!

As you might know from previous posts, my Mum is often quite depressed and a bit (cough) negative at times. The poor thing has been suffering a lot of pain lately and the Dr's told her it was most likely a pulled muscle. This has been going on for months!!
Probably, her own pain, anxiety and fear would explain her reactions that day of my previous post

(which now I feel terrible about - but my own constant pain and frustration explains that)

The thing is, last week I was so frustrated & upset seeing My Mum being in pain, while also being in pain myself, and nothing working that gave My mum any relief (panadeine forte, panadol osteo, mersyndol) - that I told her to go back to the Dr and demand the Dr for some further tests.

So the Dr agreed and sent her for a bone scan to check. My Mum is 72 btw.

Turns out by the bone scan results said that it is highly likely that Mum has 'metastatic bone disease'.!!!!!!! Which means secondary cancer in the bones that has spread from somewhere else in her body. Now, it's more tests trying to find out where - and what is going to happen. Or the 'treatment' etc etc So now we wait for oncology appointments, and probably more tests.

Today Mum had to have a mammogram, as the most common cancer that spreads to the bones if undetected, is Breast Cancer - the mammogram hasn't been reported on properly yet, but the nurse and dr, said it looked clear and normal - so now we just wait for the oncology to ring us (an urgent appt has been requested, but this could take over a week!!! )
Knowing my mum's lung conditions - (Pulmonary fibrosis, emphysema & Interstitial pneumonia)
if their is a main cancer, then the most likely thing could be Lung cancer - but thyroid cancer is also a common cancer to spread to the bones, as is kidney cancer. So we wait....... we watch her in pain.

I see sleeping tablets not working, tramadol maximum dosage allowed not working, mersyndol, panadeine forte - nothing is making Mum comfortable!! This itself is worrying me knowing it might be bone cancer. IF it is bone cancer (I say "if" with my own head doubts) then isn't it possible that it has already progressed during the last few months during trips back and forth to the Drs??? This is a bad thing, a bad thought :( But, I'm trying to be rational, logical.

I'm finding myself already angry (maybe pre-emptively) that the Dr's didn't be more thorough, because they could have robbed us of some special time!

It's a horrible waiting game just to find out exactly what is going on, what is going to be next, the likelihood of treatment helping - if it can, or not. Etc Etc

The bones affected are her 6th, 7th, 8th ribs - both sides, a few vertebrates in her thoracic region, her pelvis & also her femur.

This is not looking good is it?

Frida Kahlo - My painting

This is my Frida - I really like her.
She put on such a brave face when she could.
I am so connected to her - her life story is incredible!

If you don't know about her - visit here

I hope you like my Frida painting.

Thank you for visiting, I'm off to visit a friend now....... have fun!

xo

Frida Kahlo

Today I found some wonderful images of Frida, I also found this post on Memos to Mom's blog - It explains a lot!

Now I am inspired to draw (well try to) Frida Kahlo....

Here's some Frida pics.....





I have always felt connected to Frida, just because I knew she suffered a lot of pain.
It is now believed that after her horrific accident, she suffered from Fibromyalgia - so another way I can truly 'connect' with her....... it sucks, the poor thing endured so much in her life, and her art depicted it.

Sketches in progress

Another two quick sketches last night.

The first - Molly, is feminine and buxom :) and likes to show off her curves!


The second - Pride, is not so feminine - she's lesbian and prefers to play down her curves.

It was challenging to get the body shape different for the lesbian, as I'm getting used to drawing shapely, feminine girls. This was a lead into drawing males - one thing I haven't attempted yet. I find the girls so much more fun!

xo

Paintings and sneek peek at commissioned piece

Here's a sneek peek at my commissioned "mermaid" I hope you like her. I'm wondering what to do on her tail - glitter, sparkles, bling, gills?

Here's another of my sketches painted two different ways :)

Thank you for visiting :)

Random mix of new-ish works & a weird photo!

Here's some more random pics of recent creativity.
I scanned tonight. YAY!

I hope to be making some new art cards (aceo's & atc's) from the new sketches.
Check out the girl in the 'I dream of painting' atc - I think she looks like me!!



My ELDA sketch, painted and grunged :)
You may remember 'Elda' from my previous post Pencil out the Pain

"I dream of painting"
Look at her, she really looks like me!

This is a little weird.. I don't remember where the pic in this atc came from, so if you know please point me in the right direction so I can credit it. (and maybe find out who she was!!) ADDED: I found it, the picture is from Lisasaltered art collage sheet - Slides #5... I have emailed to let her know this spooky coincidence!
The weird thing, is that this pic reminded me so much of myself.... I mean the actual girl LOOKS like me as a kid!! So I showed Craig and he didn't believe I had got the photo from somewhere else - he thought I had used a picture of myself and added the clothing.

Secret Promise
Some weird happenings going on in this one! Just what is a secret promise? A promise that you don't actual give and therefore don't commit to. Or is it something you promise but don't ever follow through on? Sigh - I've experienced TOO many of those!! Yes, it is the ruin of them!
(I'm talking about men of course)

A couple of new sketches
I will be making some cards with her soon, oh and painting them I hope.

Sally

Suzie
Who are you dressing up as?
These three cards were made with collage and rubber stamp combination, I stamped into hot white Embossing powder. Collaged the bodies and then added some inking, text and rub-ons.


I really do hope that trust will heal my wounds!
I got a little bit of anger releasing during the process of this card - yup, I scribbled and scrubbed and let some of it out....... ahhh it feels good to release with art :)


He wore curious clothes
I have no idea what I was thinking during the making of this atc! I liked the unusual image and I guess I thought he looked somewhat noble :)

That's it for now - It's 12.22am and time for me to take my sleeping pills and wait for them to kick in....... see you soon,

Hugs!

xo

Life with confidence

I found a site, with some links to 'gratitude' and more, like this E-Book for $10
take a peek...

Life With Confidence

Practical information on building confidence in yourself, your work and your personal relationships with free articles, activities, ideas, quotes. Confidence tips, tricks and strategies that actually work and don't just try to sell you high priced products.

Drumroll Please............. and the winner is

Hello,

The winner from my previous post Reality Check is ......................................

PINKGLITTERFAE

Congratulations Betty, if you email me your postal address, I will get one of my art cards in the mail for you :)

Thank you to everyone who commented, your comments were very valuable and so appreciated!

Hugs xo

Reality Check

Ok, I'm asking all my wonderful followers to tell me what you would like to see more of on my blog...... all commenters will go into the draw to win one of my recent 'hand-drawn' art cards :)

Is it more pictures or more text?

Sometimes I want to pour out my heart & soul - but very often pause and decide against it - hey, I know too many people that might read my blog and just not 'get it'.... right?? No, probably Wrong... it's my blog and it's personal, so I guess I should feel free enough to say whatever I damn well please. Lets face it, if someone doesn't like it, then so be it. You can't please all the people all the time, and some people you can't please any of the time. So really what have I got to lose??

Being the owner of a retail store, I guess brings along a sense of 'responsibility' and 'professionalism', which is well and good and probably the reason I hold back so often.
Maybe I should start another blog....... an anonymous one haha - Do you think you would know it was me???

Look at the flack the amazing Suzi Blu got for her 'vulva' posting a while ago - I found it immensely entertaining, refreshing and 'real'..!! Go Suzi, you brave, free speaking soul. I love how Suzi can pour it all out, without fear.. and I know Suzi is responsible - she has the lovely Gigi to care for too, and as for professionalism..... well look at her amazing videos!! Suzi is technically savvy, creative, free speaking, vibrant and fun.

I can do it, can't I? Sheesh, I doubt myself too much sometimes.

The other day I saw a double-decker bus and immediately started thinking about how cool it would be to do it up as an 'art bus' - top floor for living, bottom full or art supplies - I would love a gypsy Caravan too, but either would be cool.

Anyone got an old double-decker bus lying around their back yard they can give me? or even a gypsy caravan?? I might pack up for a bit, go travelling and I might be lucky enough to meet up with Suzi somewhere on a creative journey :)

Anyone wanna come?

Ahh but reality- What about my home, my business, my beautiful girls and even the man I sometimes (sad but true) want to run away from........ I would miss them all too much! So I couldn't be gone for too long. Wow, I'm really thinking about this aren't I.. haha (talking to myself there sorry)

Now I know Bec would probably like another holiday, especially one that involved nothing but playing with pretty papers, paints and crafty goodness every day - hmm maybe a road trip, with classes and lots of sharing, fun, laughter and art!!

Where would I start?

(Reality Check)

We gotta dream! - and I'm dreaming now!

Now if only I can manage to string a few hours sleep together, and wake up not hurting so much tomorrow - I will be content with that for now :)

If you made it all the way down here, thank you for listening now you can go ahead and answer my questions haha... oh and don't forget - a suprise hand-drawn card could be yours!

xo

Atc Angel Swap & Other collage atc's

These cards are a little bit of colourful fun - Enjoy!

I completed my cards for the Scrappindipity Monthly ATC Swap (from our flickr group) These were made using my favourite Gel Medium Transfer technique. I like my transfers to be soft, subtle and a little grungy!

Finished some ACEO's / ATC's

I finished some more of my hand-drawn aceo's - here's a couple of full page scans.

Some are available to 'trade' and some are available on my ETSY store.

There's a couple of 'collage' cards in this lot

Here's a few close ups :)

BE VULNERABLE
This piece was inspired by Nic Hohn's 'open heart, vulnerable mind' painting.
I was very drawn to it and the topic of vulnerability inspired me to complete this.

CELEBRATING POTENTIAL
This piece incorporates some hand painted background
paper, along with a piece of 'shaving foam' background paper that I created.
I created this piece to be colorful, with an abstract background.

PEACE
This is probably my favourite, The colour and contrast with my
'tilted girl' drawing seem to pop for me. Also, I could do with the
reminding that I need some gentle peace in my life.

Thank you for visiting and looking :)

Any ideas for future projects ? Feel free to share.

Sending you all 'peace' 'vulnerability' and 'potential'

xo

Spill It workshop - Carmen Torbus

I am shouting and woo hoo'ing about this workshop!!

Why? Because it looks cool and I would really really really love to win an entrance to this online workshop - would you?

If so, please visit Carmen and see the instructions...... Here's a sneek peek at Carmen and the upcoming workshop.

Pencil out the Pain

Pencil out the painCan you see what those curly things are?

Pencil out the pain, is what I do - as often as I can. See, art really IS my therapy :)

Today I had fun, We had our 'social atc day' at Scrappindipity and played with shaving foam and alcohol inks - yep, I made a mess. I love wednesday ATC days, it's really a highlight for me - such a fabulous group of lovely ladies - thank you for your enthusiasm, love & support.
One of the ladies that attends is Dee, and wow! Dee made some amazing 'sandwich technique' atc's from our last class and I wanted all of them!!! (tutorial to come)

I got home to discover that I had sold my 'MUSE' aceo - so that made me smile, cos she is now travelling to the UK and made my bank account a wee bit richer - bring it on :)

I'm currently working on more drawings and canvasses at the same time. I also have SO many ideas popping around in my head for arty things lately.

And here's a few of my latest sketches:



I am going to print these smaller and make some more ATC's & ACEO's from them, and colour and paint them too.

Oh for the time to just sit and draw and paint and sketch and colour all day long!

I've been working on lots of little cards, so stay tuned as there is more to come here soon.

Oh, I haven't forgotten the free images either - so here's another for you to play with. It's one I own, so please personal use only. Thanks.

I purchased this image from Eileen Schwanke who owns an antique store (how cool)

:)

Enjoy!

Sketching away the blues

Today I sketched for 2 hours - and the 4 sketches are what I completed, I spend so much more time painting them. Then I will cut them out carefully and adhere them onto my background surface - usually a canvas. Preparing the background canvas can take me forever, as I layer and layer and keep adding things until I feel it's 'done'... then I will often add more over the top of the stuck down painted sketch - it's so much fun & I'm enjoying making art more and more each day.

I will be printing them, and painting them soon - so please visit me again soon.
Please feel free to let me know what you think, any tips or advice is always appreciated :)

The atc's I made using my sketches turned out fun to do. It was great to see one picture with different colours etc., Also, using your own drawings means that your cards are totally unique to you! How cool is that. So if you haven't tried it yet - what are you waiting for?.......hmm ok, who was it that said "but I can't draw"????? I heard you, yes I did. Well let me tell you something - you can do it, and if you stop saying that you can't, then you CAN!

If I can, you can. ( and the little voice inside my head still occasionally says "you can't draw" ) So stomp it out, tell yourself you can and go draw. I would love to see what you do - don't be shy.

I love all forms of mixed-media, and love the collage and rubber stamping too, but lately I'm addicted to trying to draw my girls. Every time I pick up my pencils, I learn something new - just from trial and error. I had a large eraser - which is getting smaller every time I sketch hahaaha So just have fun and try.

The inspiration on the web is amazing, the sharing and caring is awesome.
I want to thank Tamara for her thoughtfulness, Tamara also suffers from chronic pain like I do - so we can relate to the difficulties of every day living. Tamara sent me a couple of her awesome atc's and a zine/journal from Teesha Moore - and I absolutely love it... these arrived along with some lovely papers for me to play with too. What more could a girl want in the mail (ok, I could do with a few extra $$ if you are throwing it away) haha
But seriously, my heart was lifted so much from this one envelope in the mail - so I wanted to publicly thank Tamara - you are a sweetie xo

Pat yourselves on the back, because we arty farty types are just so open-hearted and creative we deserve a pat on the back...... so I'm giving you all one right now :)