31 May 2010

Lost in my own world

Lost in my own world

Today was a nice laid back day. Lots of quiet thinking. Some house cleaning, some sketching, cooking a nice roast chicken dinner & then making yummy chicken soup with the left over chicken.......mmm

Yesterday was a sad day for me.... it marked the 6 month anniversary since my Mum passed away. I can't believe it has been six months already as it seems like only last month. Some days have been very long and lonely ones. Actually,  a lot of them have felt like that. I miss so many things, the little things - the things I took for granted. You hear people say how different things are in retrospect - well it's so true, and some days I wish for nothing more than to have some more 'time' to talk to my Mum, to ask questions about her life, her feelings and so forth. To simply be next to her, to hear her laugh. It's like my connection has been lost - and so many things I want to talk to her about just can't be so anymore. Some days when I am home alone, while Craig is at work, I just sit and stare at my Mum's picture that sits on my sideboard. I look deeply into her eyes, I keep telling her that I love her, that I miss her, that I wish she was here. I tell her that I feel like I sometimes took her for granted and that I'm sorry for that. I go to bed late at night and don't sleep - I stare into the blackness of night, hoping for a glimpse of her. I pray, I ask to 'feel' her around me. I wait.
I still wait.
and wait..... lost in my own world.

The sketches today are inspired by my feelings -  I will choose one to paint, which do you think I should paint?

Click on the pictures to see them larger, then hit your 'back' button to return :)


A mothers love

Please respect the copyright on my images - Thank you xo

8 May 2010

My Mothers Day Poem

With Mothers Day upon us, I sat today and wrote a poem....  It took me a few hours to get it all to make sense.....and yes it was a sad sack moment.

Ok, it was very sad - and yes I cried, but I also smiled as I thought about my Mum's Love, her warmth and her incredible strength. I found myself wanting to write more and more, but then just said things in my head - I was wondering, questioning and thinking that if spirit could be everywhere then maybe I didn't need to say or write anything. Thinking that my Mum would just *know* what I was thinking... well hoping she would. I wrote the poem anyway. So Mum, this is for you :)

My first Mothers Day without you

I sat beside you, Mum
As on death’s doorstep you laid.
I set my head upon your heart
And silently I prayed.

I let the tears run slowly,
and I listened to your breath.
At the time, I really didn't understand
or comprehend your death

I guess I didn't want to know,
Didn't want it to be real.
But now that you are gone
It's a silent emptiness I feel

The world to me shut off
the day your soul departed.
Together, our little family
are so deeply broken hearted.

We look into each others eyes
and know how we all feel.
But seldom do we mention it
as our own wounds we try to heal.

I try to block out the pain
the loneliness, the sorrow
I try to concentrate
On how to live tomorrow.

I sit alone, sometimes for hours
And listen to no sound.
I contemplate you being gone
and hope it's peace you found

The time for you came so suddenly
To enter Heaven’s Gate.
and all those years we had together,
I now have time to contemplate

I'm grateful for each moment,
and all the times that we did share.
I'm grateful for the love you gave us
and for showing us how to care.

I miss you with my heart & soul
and know that others do too.
You were my Mother & my friend,
and without you my world is blue

It’s only months since you passed
My wounds are not yet healing.
I want so much to hear your voice,
To hug you, to ask how you are feeling.

I could write so much for you Mum,
with all the stuff that's in my head.
Some days I just want to cry
and not get out of bed.

But when I think about you Mum,
and all that strength you were showing,
It gives me power & motivation
to try to keep on going.

I know you were worried
about how we would all cope,
But together we will make it
Because YOU gave us hope.

And Mum, you’ve never really gone
for it's within each of us you reside.
Forever always in our hearts
and always by our side.

You're our special angel
looking down upon us from above,
There's only one word to describe you Mum,
and that word is LOVE.

Happy Mothers Day Mum,
I love you and miss you with all my heart.

7 May 2010

Artful Update

My painting for "Relay for Life" The Cancer Council annual fundraising event
Limited Edition Prints are available -
If you are interested please email me - artivity3@gmail.com or reiki3@iinet.net.au




Current work in progress:



That's it for today, more to come soon - now I am off to mix some resin to complete the above 'works in progress'

Have a lovely day, and don't forget to allow yourself some creative time :)

Lorri xo