31 May 2010

Lost in my own world

Lost in my own world

Today was a nice laid back day. Lots of quiet thinking. Some house cleaning, some sketching, cooking a nice roast chicken dinner & then making yummy chicken soup with the left over chicken.......mmm

Yesterday was a sad day for me.... it marked the 6 month anniversary since my Mum passed away. I can't believe it has been six months already as it seems like only last month. Some days have been very long and lonely ones. Actually,  a lot of them have felt like that. I miss so many things, the little things - the things I took for granted. You hear people say how different things are in retrospect - well it's so true, and some days I wish for nothing more than to have some more 'time' to talk to my Mum, to ask questions about her life, her feelings and so forth. To simply be next to her, to hear her laugh. It's like my connection has been lost - and so many things I want to talk to her about just can't be so anymore. Some days when I am home alone, while Craig is at work, I just sit and stare at my Mum's picture that sits on my sideboard. I look deeply into her eyes, I keep telling her that I love her, that I miss her, that I wish she was here. I tell her that I feel like I sometimes took her for granted and that I'm sorry for that. I go to bed late at night and don't sleep - I stare into the blackness of night, hoping for a glimpse of her. I pray, I ask to 'feel' her around me. I wait.
I still wait.
and wait..... lost in my own world.

The sketches today are inspired by my feelings -  I will choose one to paint, which do you think I should paint?

Click on the pictures to see them larger, then hit your 'back' button to return :)


A mothers love

Please respect the copyright on my images - Thank you xo


  1. lorri I'm sorry you're having such a sad time of it...getting your feelings out into your art will help you heal.
    Why stop at coloring only one? all 3 are gorgeous, I would do all of them. Why let them sit in black and white?
    I like how you are journaling around the image...makes it more powerful

  2. ur words break my heart, so sorry :(. ur drawings R pretty

  3. I'm so sorry for the sadness. I'm thinking of you.

  4. All your sketches are great, I think I would paint the middle one, with the bird and butterfly.
    Sorry to haer about your Mum, hope you are OK

  5. Lovely sketches. We all do the best we can, Lorri. I am sure your mum knew how much you loved her. I love sketch #2 with the birdcage but they are all wonderful.

  6. Lori;
    I FULLY understand this feeling. When I was 22 my dad died of a massive cardiac arrest - he was 51. The week after he passed away I went to Church and for the first time since I joined the Church the pastor called an altar call (for people who needed to be prayed for). I slowly made my way to the front of the Church and a tall man with grey hair that I had never seen before came and grabbed my hands and said to me, "Jesus takes the place of the ones we lose." Then he prayed for me and his words "Jesus takes the place of the ones we lose" kept going over and over in my mind. I never saw that man again and I asked the pastor about him but he didn't know who I was talking about. Those words began my healing, my grieving process. It has been almost 17 years since he has passed away but Jesus has truly taken the place of my Dad in my life, though there is still a deep grieving inside sometimes. He has given me comfort, and peace, and love like I have never known.
    I know this will come for you eventually, right now it feels pretty raw I am sure, but it will come. I will pray for you that you will receive the comfort and love and peace that He has given me.
    As for your drawings... I really love the first one because it truly spoke to me - I have felt that way so many times in my dreams. Your drawings and paintings any your words really touched me... would it be okay if I shared some of your work and linked to your blog... having read this post I would really like to do a post on grieving. Please let me know if you would not like this. I will create a post and I can take it down if you like. Thank you for your words. Hugs to you.


Thank you for taking the time to visit and comment on my blog. All comments are welcomed.