3 January 2010

Dear Universe

Dear Universe,

I normally say nice things to you.
My daily chat usually includes a little gratitude and requests for healing for my family & friends if they need it.

Today is different - I am unhappy - well if I'm going to be honest with you, I'm really pissed off with the way things have been going...

I feel like you are kicking me while I'm already down?

I don't think it is fair.

The pain and heartache I'm feeling is enough - do you hear me universe??? It's enough!!

I don't need to be stressed about anything else right now. All these financial problems we are having and you already know that my health isn't that good - so please stop making things harder for me.

There are days where I want to climb under a rock, or run away and never come back, or simply not even wake up!! Yet, I persevere with the hope of good things in my future. I have loving children and a husband, and I am doing my best, to enjoy them and love them. Really, I am trying not to give up. I am trying not to fall apart. I am trying to heal my body from it's pains.

That strength people talk about that comes from inside...... well I'm trying to find it. Where is it Universe?

I want to cry every minute of the day, but I don't always allow it. Sometimes I take a breath and push the emotional pain deep inside myself, you see universe - it's not always an appropriate time or place, to allow my emotions to flow. So I wait - but then it can become unbearable and then the tears escape my eyes without me being able to control them!

You have my Mum with you now universe, and I'm sad and I miss her so much.

I have so many emotions & thoughts buzzing around in my head, my heart hurts & I'm feeling really exhausted.

I saw my Mum regularly all my life, but I saw her every day for the last 11 years when we had her move into a granny flat in our backyard. (except for the few holidays I went on, or an over-nighter here and there) My home is SO empty and quiet now, her absence is awful, and I don't like it one bit. OK, I understand that there were probably so many others on the other side, that wanted to see my Mum. But Universe, I need your help.......Now that my Mum is gone from my physical life everyday, I need you to help me to cope with this change!!

I also need you to help my children & husband cope, we all miss her so much!

Also, while I'm airing out my closet - I don't think it's fair that my husband and I have to struggle so much every day financially - he works hard, surely you can see that. He works every hour his employer will let him. He never says no to work and doesn't complain - he is a good hard reliable worker. We have both worked hard over the years, and yet we don't seem to ever get ahead, and struggle all the time.

Why Universe??

I have many things I want to achieve Universe, if you would give me a chance.
I am ready to claim my universal wealth however you deem it comes to me, so please bring it on!!

I have been patient - but my patience is slipping away.

My positivity is slipping away.

Can you please send me some healing universe, can you send my family & friends some too?

Could you send me a sign, or let my Mum show me she is happy?
Can you send us some good luck, even a little sprinkling would be nice!

I'm sorry if I'm asking for too much, but I really feel like I need more positive things to happen in my life right now...... Please.

6 comments:

  1. Lori,
    I can certanly understand how much it hurts to loose ones mother. Mine died 14 years ago during what seemed to be the hardest time of my life. For a logest while pain was totaly physical and unavoidable and I carried it with me in a heart that hardend by every tought of even a word "mom". She was in my dreams every night and that eventualy ended being my greatest comfort because I have realized that as long as I can remember her she was still alive ( inside me). So today I do not go to church or graveyard to commemorate her I made it into a tradition with my kids to gather over a good food and talk about grandma' ( they never rally got to know her) and now after so many years they repet facts about her life as if she was stil around. I know it sounds like a clichee but time will help because it will open new doors of understanding and acceptance for you . God bless and thank you for visiting my blog .Love
    Gordana :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I know it's hard to believe but things will get easier...the time that you feel like giving up, and letting yourself drown in negativity, don't let it last too long. What many people do is let it run unchecked in them, until they are in such a deep hole that they can't see a way out. I know this will sound lame right now, but now is the time to focus on all the good in your life. Hold fast to the faith that you have enough to pay the bills, that things will fall into place to make it easier. Seeing the beauty in life is the hardest thing you will have to do right now...the easy thing, is to let yourself slip away. One thing that helps when you are feeling overwhelmed, is sit down with some paper, and just write, anything that comes to mind. Curse the universe, write down anything that you may be embarrased to have someone hear, and keep going until there is nothing left. The funny thing is, after ranting for pages and pages, you start seeing clarity. And don't forget to destroy the pages when you are done!
    I read somewhere that there is something almost meditative and magical about using your hand to write stuff out- you don't get the same effect on the computer.

    I was thinking of you the other day, because I noticed my mom was having a hard time hearing, and that she was walking slower...I never noticed that before, and realizing that some day she may be gone upset me so much. I can't even begin to know what you are going through.
    Your in my prayers...hang in there Lori,
    betty

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey it is very nice post. I love to read and you have a very good feeling for universe as you told here... Thanks.
    r4 kort

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear Lorri,
    Since you asked about your beloved mum ı must tell you that she is so happy and comfotable with her existence now.. i say existance coz all of us are energies with different level of vibration eventhough she changed her energy level by moving from her body she is still alive in other dimesion that you cant see by your eyes.. but ı will tell you what you can still contact with her coz she hears and feels you just trust this and comunicate with her when you need you will see that she answers you by a dream, a song,a news or anythıng else.. and as the other thıng.. yes ı see that both of you working very hard and you deserve abundance already and im really ready to give it you but what makes me confused is why cant you just trust me and waıt a little patiantly until i deliver it to you??you know that every tıme you argue about this you are focused on what you dont have strongly and according to my laws what you think think and feel the most i have to deliver it to you so everytime you do that ı have to cancel the delivery of the abundance and give more issues to deal with..isnt this what you are always talking about?.. it is enough to tell me what you WANT.. NOT what you DONT WANT.. It ıs a pleasure for me to give you what you want but sometimes ı wait for the exact right time and sometimes you cancel it by yourself by thinking ıt wont come to you as ı am about to give it to you... So please keep believing in me and be sure that the things that you ask from me are on their way to arrive to you..DONT cancel them this time ok? you will see that everything will start to change as you keep yourself positive for all the thins that ı will give you ı only expect you to keep being posıtıve.. dont you think that ı deserve at least that much? ı LOVE you and your family too just keep it in your mind and i will see you soon just take care and open the door please when ı send someone to you to deliver the stuff ;)

    your best friend
    UNIVERSE

    ReplyDelete
  5. She'll never leave you, rest assured your mom is watching over you.

    Jeanne

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for taking the time to visit and comment on my blog. All comments are welcomed.